Apuykat

And so ends a “situation” I’ve been dealing with for the past 3 months. It ended with me completely confused and the other party extremely irate and unfortunately utterly misinformed, with a missed opportunity to appropriately clarify things… *sigh*

My Aunt Agnes who has been surrogate Mom since my Mother passed away (when I was 16) told me last night when she wasn’t laughing:

“Oh honey you have no idea how to charm a man. You don’t insult him and then tell him he’s beautiful. You flirt and compliment till his feathers are all puffed up and then you tell him the truth…and it takes about 20 years to puff him up.”

My childhood friend and recent confidant in my situation said:

“Next time you like a guy, be yourself and DON’T do what you think will make him like you which you did and it was insincere but mainly, DON’T tell him how much you really like him.”

My best girl friends said:

“You castrated the poor thing, haven’t you heard of the chase? Hunter/gatherer, ugga bugga, you big strong thing?”

“You’re NOT suppose to tell him how you really feel! RULE NUMBER #1!

“You were honest?! Dear God girl…now he thinks you’re psycho.”

Two other close guy friends said:

“Girls might like it when a guy screams out romantic verbage blah blah blah, but NO guy wants you to literally spell out your praises for him. It scares the Bejeezus out of him and makes him think you’re imagining things. And then for you to also spell out his flaws in the same profession, well great…you’re just schizophrenic.”

“Yah, you basically kneed him in the balls and then attempted fellatio…not a good way to help him see your side of things. Next time reverse the process so atleast he’ll be too numb to feel the pain as you crush his gonads”

And of course there was my brother’s response:

“It sounds like you’re trying to raise him. He’s not your son. Unless you want him to be like your…ew…that’s sick Zhe (”sis” in chinese)”

I GET IT GUYS!  I DON’T HAVE “GAME”!

(I’m so embarrassed…)

The most unfortunate thing about this situation is that I really had nothing but good intentions. There was no ego involved and I laid everything on the line. I’m not very good with inference. I’m just a natural problem solver and puzzle lover so I’m, always looking for tangible evidence which of course made it hard for me to stay a Catholic. My psychological spelunking got me in trouble this time. I asked my questions inappropriately and presented my side of things poorly.

I should have used PowerPoint

Oh well. I will chalk it up as a loss. If anything I know now what he’s like when he’s angry…it ain’t pretty. I feel like I should be more hurt but I’m not because in the end he didn’t really understand me and doesn’t really want to.

Like my Pops said which was so beautiful I have to post it:

“This boy doesn’t know the real you. You should not waste your time to try to show him. It’s too bad because you are a good girl and you always want to make people feel better. But sometimes people get more angry by that. When you were little you would always bring home animals and for some reason you liked to bring home the ones that were dangerous, like that rat from outside the house. That is your problem. Sometimes a rat is a rat. You can’t make him a cat.

This is what I think. This boy may not be a rat but he thinks he is. He doesn’t know why you see him as a cat. Make sense? So you are stupid and you should be punished. So let it go. He’s a fool for thinking a life as a rat is better than a life as your cat. ”

Aw…I heart my Dad